Clever Retorts Should I Ever Appear As A Contestant of Mtv’s “Yo Mamma.”

Should my puny opponent’s mother be an Astrophysicist with crazy ideas and long legs
Your mother, sir, is the Ann Coulter of science! Take that!

Should my puny opponent's mother be a Cylon
Your mother, sir, is an exciting plot twist in an all ready exciting show! I anticipate your inevitable role in a complicated scheme to destroy the human race! Kaplow!

Should my puny opponent’s mother be a contestant on Rockstar: Supernova
Your mother, sir, sings like a broken baby piano that has been run through a giant blender and then fed through a running diesel engine! And, if I may be so vulgar, your mother has fantastic bosoms! I think someone's new stepdad is going to be Tommy Lee - and I think that "someone" is YOU! Zing!

Should my puny opponent’s mother be Jar Jar Binks
Your mother, sir, is the most annoying character in the Star Wars Universe! And I'm including the Ewoks in this comparison! And young Anakin from Episode One! Kapow!

Should my puny opponent's mother be Political Pundit Tucker Carleson now that he's agreed to appear on Dancing with the Stars
Your mother, sir, has said a big "Hello!" to 15 minutes of fame and a big "Adios!" to journalistic or professional crediblity! For shame, sir, for shame!

Should my puny opponent’s mother be Nicole Richie
Your mother, sir, needs to have a sandwich once in a while! Seriously! No seriously, I'm not kidding. I used to think the last thing I wanted to see on a woman was vapid media-whorishness, but it's not - it's sternum. Oh, no I di'nt!