Things that keep me awake at night...

There are a handful of things that keep me awake during the day, and there are even fewer things that keep me awake at night.

Here are a few of the major issues that keep me from sweet nightime dreams featuring a young Cindy Crawford...

(1) Dog poop, and where in my house I'll next find it.

(2) Why the sweet candy Almond Rocca looks frighteningly similar to cat poop, and why I insist on eating it dispite that superficial similarity.

(3) Cat poop, and why my dog thinks it's delicious. Because it's not. I learned that lesson the hard way and again, it looks like Almond Rocca.

(4) My dogs ability to use reason and his capacity for abstract thinking.

(5) Whether or not my cat speaks foreign languages, because he certainly doesn't speak English. I'm pretty sure the sadistic bastard is just messing with me.