Dear American Airlines,

Dear American Airlines,

I. Hate. You.

Sincerely,

A. Jonathan Cox

PS. Trader Joe's Dunkelweizen beer is kind of gross. I don't recommend it.

PPS. Though I DO recommend it to you, American Airlines Executives, because you guys are dicks.

PPPS. I mean seriously, I doubt that you were totally caught off guard by the safety issues in your airplanes. You were perfectly ok with your planes flying around and had to wait for the Federal Government (the masterminds behind Katrina relief and the war in Iraq) to step in and tell you that your planes were dangerous. I mean, how dangerous were they? I imagine something like rocks with wings.

PPPPS. Not that I'm ungrateful for your airline getting me to my destination safe and not blown up, but I'm pretty sure that if Dante was still rocking he'd amend the Divine Comedy and crowbar an 8 1/2 circle (aka concourse C of the DFW airport). I spent ten hours there. I messed with Texas and got stuck in purgatory. Thank you.

PPPPPS. Have a Dunkelweizen on me, jerks. It's a gross ass beer...