Take THAT England

Ah, Independence Day. Good times. The anniversary of the day America doffed our caps, loaded our muskets and said a big "no thank you" to England. Though I believe that this message was delivered with messenger-bullets, but that's just how say that we want to see other people (take THAT, England). Apparently there was also some business with tea and white people masquerading as Indians. I never really understood the point of the tea business but I am certain that like all defiant acts committed during a revolution, it probably seemed like a good idea at the time (take THAT, England...sorry for the racism Indians...).

The Forth of July is the anniversary of the day that our pasty faced and powdered wigged forefathers made a solemn oath to never live under an oppressive king-like ruler (unless we're fighting terror). I believe that the decision also made to appropriate good British TV shows and turn them into bad-but-sometimes-ok American TV shows (take THAT, England). Also, they decided that this would be the day that we came together as a nation to blow shit up that's not another country (we can do that on any day and don't need an occasion/reason to do it). Why? Because we're America that's why so fuck you for even asking.

So, I will spend the day simultaneously giving England the bird while watching reruns of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America, failing to understand the appeal of soccer and maybe reading Jeeves and Wooster.

Take THAT, England.