The 1st & 2nd Most Depressing Things Today
The Most Depressing Thing Today, Number 1:
This weekend I was reintroduced to a delicious treat known as the Hot Buttered Rum. My first introduction was when I was eight years old and I stole some from my Dad at Christmas. To my delicate eight year old palate, it was very gross. A zillion years later I had my second, which was this weekend. This time it was AWESOME.
As I'm going to be stuck here while the plumbers and the water cleaner-uppers have their way with my garage, my bank account and my child-like innocence, I thought I might zip to the liqueur store for the appropriate supplies. Also, the impending Snow Apocalypse looming on the horizon will make driving a hassle and I don't want a Hot Buttered Rum bad enough to use Four Wheel Drive to get one.
So off I went, and arrived at the store thirteen minutes later. The lights were on at the store, this was going to be no problem. This was going to be a simple in-and-out operation.
They were closed. Apparently it was nine thirty in the morning. According to the sign on the front, they open at ten. Then it dawned on me that perhaps I'm an alcoholic as I was at the liqueur store (a) before noon, and (b) before they were open.
The Most Depressing Thing Today, Number 2:
I was not the only one. There were at least three other people looking for some early morning booze.
I have to go lie down now.
This weekend I was reintroduced to a delicious treat known as the Hot Buttered Rum. My first introduction was when I was eight years old and I stole some from my Dad at Christmas. To my delicate eight year old palate, it was very gross. A zillion years later I had my second, which was this weekend. This time it was AWESOME.
As I'm going to be stuck here while the plumbers and the water cleaner-uppers have their way with my garage, my bank account and my child-like innocence, I thought I might zip to the liqueur store for the appropriate supplies. Also, the impending Snow Apocalypse looming on the horizon will make driving a hassle and I don't want a Hot Buttered Rum bad enough to use Four Wheel Drive to get one.
So off I went, and arrived at the store thirteen minutes later. The lights were on at the store, this was going to be no problem. This was going to be a simple in-and-out operation.
They were closed. Apparently it was nine thirty in the morning. According to the sign on the front, they open at ten. Then it dawned on me that perhaps I'm an alcoholic as I was at the liqueur store (a) before noon, and (b) before they were open.
The Most Depressing Thing Today, Number 2:
I was not the only one. There were at least three other people looking for some early morning booze.
I have to go lie down now.
posted by A. Jonathan Cox at 10:05 AM
6 Comments:
this is sheer brilliance. sorry to hear about mother nature's vengeance on your garage.
It we were not meant to drink booze in the morning, god would not have invented the Bloody Mary or the Mimosa.
The real question is did you wait in your car at the liquor store until it opened?
Well it was only a half an hour...
no judgement here, Alex... no judgement here ;)
It's your old buddy Matt Dreese here. I was just reading some of your old blogs from '06... Hilarious stuff. The one about poop in spinich was particularly funny. I miss ya man.
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