Things I've Learned Today

For some reason I decided that I was going to learn something new every day. It can be one thing, or two things, or if I'm feeling fancy - three things. So, here is what I've learned today. A word of warning: I hope you're all sitting down as you read this as the information that I am going to share may shake the very foundation of your being!

(1) Iran. Everything is going fine in Iran. Every vote has been counted (in advance! Fancy!). Everything is just fine. Democracy is really working great. Also, despite all of the hullabaloo, they have not changed their feelings on Israel (they hate them).

(2) A second warning - this one is a two parter. If you ever call someone on the telephone, and that person has needlessly jazzed up their phone service to one that instead of the standard "ring-ring" that that is common on telephones, the phone plays you a song while "your party is located*".

1. The music that plays will be horrible. It will be, without a doubt, the worst music in the world. It will also tell you a lot about the person you're calling, whether their desperate for marriage, longing for their days at the club, or if they are assholes. NOTE: That last one is a given. If they use this service, they are assholes.
   
2. These people should probably not be in your life in any capacity. And especially don't let them near children or liquor.