Paris Hilton, jail bird

Paris Hilton was recently freed, again, from jail and was not shanked in the "yard" a la Oz. She does however, after three and one half weeks in the hooscow, looks just like a really thin, probably anti-semetic, owl. Prison will do that.

Rosemary's Baby

How I explained the movie Rosemary's Baby to my boss, who herself is pregnant:

"It's just like Knocked Up, only instead of Seth Rogan, she's knocked up by SATAN! And it's funnier."

She gave me the blank stare of approval and walked (waddled) off.

Shop Owner

Sometime's I wish I owned a store just so that I could throw people out of it.