Dear Black Eyed Peas, circa 2002

Dear Black Eyed Peas, circa 2002,

I miss you guys. The 2008 version of your band kind of sucks. I just don't get "Fergie", if that's her real name, she's responsible for some of the worst music since the cavemen started banging rocks together.

Word to your moms,

A. Jonathan Cox

Weather Machine

Dear Peoples of the Pacific Northwest,

I really hate to do these sorts of things, but here is an apology. I inadvertently left my weather machine on on Friday afternoon. Yeah. That's right.

Sorry about the snow. You know what they say, April Snow brings May...ok I don't know what the saying is about snow in April.

Anywhoo...I will soon be taking the world hostage, much like Sean Connery in the Avengers movie. So, yeah, start saving those quarters.

Sincerely,

A. Jonathan Cox

I said this...

http://katekarma.blogspot.com/2008/04/nola-quote-1.html

It's true. As any straight man who is totally hip/awesome/kickass and voting for Obama, I have to draw the line at guys without pants.

Dear American Airlines,

Dear American Airlines,

I. Hate. You.

Sincerely,

A. Jonathan Cox

PS. Trader Joe's Dunkelweizen beer is kind of gross. I don't recommend it.

PPS. Though I DO recommend it to you, American Airlines Executives, because you guys are dicks.

PPPS. I mean seriously, I doubt that you were totally caught off guard by the safety issues in your airplanes. You were perfectly ok with your planes flying around and had to wait for the Federal Government (the masterminds behind Katrina relief and the war in Iraq) to step in and tell you that your planes were dangerous. I mean, how dangerous were they? I imagine something like rocks with wings.

PPPPS. Not that I'm ungrateful for your airline getting me to my destination safe and not blown up, but I'm pretty sure that if Dante was still rocking he'd amend the Divine Comedy and crowbar an 8 1/2 circle (aka concourse C of the DFW airport). I spent ten hours there. I messed with Texas and got stuck in purgatory. Thank you.

PPPPPS. Have a Dunkelweizen on me, jerks. It's a gross ass beer...