Mars Thingy

A new Mars Thingy, that we flung in the general direction of Mars almost a year ago, landed on Mars (instead of crashing into it, as is usual for these things) and man, Mars looks kind of boring. It looks like a really huge, shitty, beach filled with dudes wondering where all the girls went.

Also, the Mars Thingy does not look like Wall E, which is a shame.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Ha ha! You guys got me again! I hope you spend my five bucks better than I spent it!

First off: this is not the first time I've been duped by a sequel to a movie that was super awesome twenty years ago - I'm looking in your direction Star Wars.

Second off: there are two things that every Indiana Jones movie should have (of which this current installment had neither) - (1) something about Jesus and/or God and/or the end of the world; and (2) Nazi's and/or Kate Capshaw.

Third off: Shia Labouf-bang-bing-bong Esq.'s character should have been named "Johnny Exposition". He also, for some reason, combed his hair frequently that I'm sure looked totally awesome when the fine movie makers typed it into Final Draft. SIDE NOTE: for some reason his hair combing got a few laughs in my theater, I do not understand this.

Forth off: For you nit-pickers out there, lots of shots didn't match. If you want to play a game - count how many times something (like a corpse's head, for example) is pointing one way on the wide shots and then is pointing the OTHER way when they go in for the close up. Fun!

The Economy

$20 is the new $5

Also, $5 in gas just to tide you over for a while is the new $30 in gas just to tide you over for a while.