Things to Do Before I Die
As my annual birthday (as opposed to my bi-annual one) came and went this year I took a moment to reflect on my life, to analyze my accomplishments and failures and general outlook on life. Every year at my birthday I manage to convince myself that death is lurking in every dark corner, inside every cupboard and is behind the wheel every other car on the interstate. Nonetheless, I have realized (or realised, when I’m feeling European) that it is high time that I composed a list of things that I wish to do before I die.
Where to start? A momentous undertaking such as this requires the help of serious professionals. Writing down whatever idea catches my fancy certainly won’t do. That sort of haphazard goal setting is how we, as a society, collectively ended up with things like the Segway Scooter, Saved By the Bell: The College Years and Medicare Part D.
First - I consulted my local coalition of Sages, Luminaries, and Seers – to shed some metaphysical light on the subject. Their responses, although enlightening, weren’t germane to my quest. They told me that I’m a creative person and have a hard time expressing myself and any minute now fame and fortune are going to be coming my way. They also said that my dead grandfather’s first name starts with an “L” or a “J” or an “M” or perhaps a “B” maybe. Also, my lucky numbers are 3, 7, 19, 42, 88, Pi and 199.882. I have a feeling that they tell everyone that.
Second - I consulted the guidance of several local religious leaders, post-graduate level college professors as well as a number of experts in a wide variety of fields including Geology, Chemistry, Philosophy and a group of “String theory” physicists. Again, these visits were enlightening, but ultimately yielded little relevant information.
Lastly - I topped off the whole exercise by following in the steps of Carlos Casteneda and took a fist full of peyote caps and had a long and insightful conversation with a lizard.
It would be wise to note I used a photo of a lizard rather than an actual lizard because - and I didn’t realize this before I started all this - I’m afraid of lizards. I should also note that instead of peyote I took nighttime cold medicine because, as it turns out, I don’t know what peyote looks like.
So, without further ado…
A. Jonathan Cox's List of Things To Do Before (He) I Die(s):
(1) Salma Hyak
Where to start? A momentous undertaking such as this requires the help of serious professionals. Writing down whatever idea catches my fancy certainly won’t do. That sort of haphazard goal setting is how we, as a society, collectively ended up with things like the Segway Scooter, Saved By the Bell: The College Years and Medicare Part D.
First - I consulted my local coalition of Sages, Luminaries, and Seers – to shed some metaphysical light on the subject. Their responses, although enlightening, weren’t germane to my quest. They told me that I’m a creative person and have a hard time expressing myself and any minute now fame and fortune are going to be coming my way. They also said that my dead grandfather’s first name starts with an “L” or a “J” or an “M” or perhaps a “B” maybe. Also, my lucky numbers are 3, 7, 19, 42, 88, Pi and 199.882. I have a feeling that they tell everyone that.
Second - I consulted the guidance of several local religious leaders, post-graduate level college professors as well as a number of experts in a wide variety of fields including Geology, Chemistry, Philosophy and a group of “String theory” physicists. Again, these visits were enlightening, but ultimately yielded little relevant information.
Lastly - I topped off the whole exercise by following in the steps of Carlos Casteneda and took a fist full of peyote caps and had a long and insightful conversation with a lizard.
It would be wise to note I used a photo of a lizard rather than an actual lizard because - and I didn’t realize this before I started all this - I’m afraid of lizards. I should also note that instead of peyote I took nighttime cold medicine because, as it turns out, I don’t know what peyote looks like.
So, without further ado…
A. Jonathan Cox's List of Things To Do Before (He) I Die(s):
(1) Salma Hyak
posted by A. Jonathan Cox at 11:19 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home