Grammar Issues

Dear Microsoft Word Grammar Check,

I am distressed to have to write to you at this late hour. I would have sent this by Post, but I have a keen distrust of the postal system and their stamp vending machines that provide change in the form of Susan B. Anthony dollars instead of regular dollars. I don't know who Susan B. Anthony is and, quite frankly, I don't think I want to.

At any rate, this letter is concerning your ability to effectively use the question mark. Now, I must confess that I do tend to play fast and loose with the comma, and you have indeed saved my neck from many embarrasing comma related blunders. But nonetheless, I have concerns.

Now, if you'd please take a look at the following sentence.

Sentence as Originally Written
"What?” asked James, irritated at being woken from what was starting to be a pleasant dream featuring a young Cindy Crawford.

Now, I think I know which part of that sentence requires the question mark. I have issolated it as the part that was the question (e.g. huh? what? que?) and quarentined it in quotation marks. Regardless, below is the sentence with your suggested punctuation.

Sentence with the Suggested Punctuation
"What?” asked James, irritated at being woken from what was starting to be a pleasant dream featuring a young Cindy Crawford?

As you can see, the first version makes complete sense, while yours is baffeling, confusing and - gramatically speaking - a tad excentric. Not since "Carl's Jr." have I seen more offensive and inappropriate use of punctuation.

I'm afraid that if we cannot resolve this issue, we may not be able to work together on future projects.

Sincerely,

A. Jonathan Cox