Doomsday, a movie review

The movie Doomsday, written and directed by the guy who did The Descent (awesome!). Doomsday is shit. Real shit. If you take all the cool parts from all the cool sci-fi movies you've seen since, oh, 1970, and cram them together with some Rhona Mitra sprinkled on top, you've got Doomsday.

The results, not so good. In fact, it's quite bad.

The highlight of the movie was when the leader of the post-apocalyptic gang who is pretty much the Scottish version of that Australian guy with the Mohawk from Mad Max dances to a Fine Young Cannibals song. Yeah, that's the highlight.

Debate!

I can't help but think that we might be doomed. Also, McCain can't raise his arms. I think that a president should have full movement of all of his limbs. Yeah, that was a stab a Bob Dole, I pick on old people. Deal with it.

On Beer

Lately I've been drinking beer like I'm getting paid for it. Let's be honest, THAT WOULD BE THE BEST JOB EVER!

Yeah! Alcoholism! High five!

How To Make A Librarian Go Ape Shit

If you're sitting around, bored on a Saturday wondering how to make your local Librarian go completely ape shit, here is how you do it.

How to make a Librarian go ape shit:

(1) Ask how one would go about censoring books, should one want to go about censoring books.
(2) Casually mention that you're ok with the Patriot Act, especially the part about censoring books and/or keeping track of the books that people buy/check out.

And that's it. Pretty easy actually. Those Librarians...they're hilarious with their "standards" and their "Constitution".

(EDIT: Turns out "apeshit" is actually two words. Who knew? Librarians, that's who.)

Things That Keep Me Up At Night

About twice a week I can't sleep. Instead of spending my nighttime hours preparing my mind, body and soul for the work day ahead of me, I make mental lists of things that keep me awake.

Here is this weeks list.

1. This Palin lady. She terrifies me.
   
2. The LHC creating a black hole that destroys our planet. I'm starting to be ok with this.
   
3. President Palin.
   
4. Lauren Conrad's three book deal.

I think we're doomed.

So Long and Thanks for All The Fish

The world is probably going to come to an end on September 10th, which is just my luck because I don't become eligible for a new iPhone until September 11th. That just figures. Stupid AT&T and their stupid rules and their stupid contracts. Stupid iPhone for being so awesome that it wakes me up at night with it's awesomeness.

Apparently I'm not the only one concerned about reality being turned in on itself, or a teensy tiny black hole that sucks the Earth into another dimension. I don't know if these death threat people are also eligible for the iPhone on the 11th, but I certainly hope so. I share their concern.

In the meantime I'm going to hold off on paying some of my bills. I'm wait and see how this plays out first.

Here's a rap to explain it.



Thank you Telegraph and The Beeb

(UPDATE: I got an iPhone and the earth hasn't been swallowed up by a teensy black hole.)

RNC: The Game!

I don't know if you're aware, but there's a lot of round, rosy cheeked white people gathered in St. Paul. It's the Republican National Convention and...it's on television! It needs a game!

So here's the game that I just made up. The gist is that you get a point when someone says one of the buzz words below (words are subject to change). Some words are double points and some are triple. Words most likely to be said during the pontification are worth less points.

At any time during the game, the word "point" may be substituted with the word "drink".

I should have mentioned that last part earlier.

SINGLE WORDS (If you hear these words, in any order)

One Point Words (One Drinkers, likely words):
Them, I, then, but, and, a, it, it's, its, there, they're, their, can, has, have, had, the, but, other, future, generations, children, gas, experience, leader, leadership, reform(er), maverick, Alaska, side, patriot, kittens, Maverick (capital M), experience, corrupt, war, Iraq, vice, President, Clinton, Hillary, Bill, Biden, Obama, Democrats, immigration, constitution, family, values, puppy, football.

Two Point Words (Double Drinkers, less likely words):
Gustov, Lieberman, Law & Order, Fred Thompson.

Three Point Words (Triple Drinkers, least likely words):
Jeb, moose, hockey, ball(s), shit, Gerard Depardieu, Led Zeplin, mother fucker, Gisele Bundchen.

BONUS PHRASES (if you hear these words, in this order, then you get points. Let's say five points. Or drinks. Or whatever.)

The Phrase that Pays
But that's not why I'm/we're here today...

The Bonus Phrase that Pays
I think this post ran out of steam...

Good luck!